My name is Esmé. Yes, with an accent. Yes, it’s French, it means esteemed. Yes, it does change the pronunciation, it’s Ez-may. Like fiancé? Or cliché? No? Alright, I guess just call me “Essmee” for the duration of our acquaintance. 

This is an all too familiar conversation for me. I have it nearly everyday. Growing up I always loved putting the accent on my name. I still do, but I’ve come to accept that some people are just not willing to learn the pronunciation or spelling of my name. I have never seen my name spelled correctly on a school form or roster. On the last regents I took, I was so sick of seeing it spelled wrong that I corrected it myself, and wound up having to redo the Scantron. 

I once had a teacher who didn’t call me by name a single time because, as he put it, “I’m just never going to figure it out.” A substitute teacher for my fifth period class last year told me with pride that he’d asked his first four classes of the day if anyone knew me, or knew how to say my name. I’ve had one teacher two years in a row, and she is still saying my name completely wrong even though I’ve politely corrected her several times. 

I say that “Esme” is an incorrect spelling, even though technically all the letters are the same. People are quick to ignore my accent, but it really makes all the difference in the world. The accent adds the “ay” sound, which is a very important distinction. 

It bothers me quite a bit when people say they “can’t” pronounce my name. Of course they can pronounce it, what they mean is that they are not willing to take thirty seconds to learn the pronunciation. I think it’s disrespectful to me. I’m proud of my name and its origin, and when people “can’t” say it, it tells me they don’t respect me enough to try. 

Recently I had to make an account on an educational site for school. When I typed in my first name the computer immediately rejected it and I got a message saying “invalid first name.” I had to remove the accent and redo the sign up process. It was upsetting that the name printed on my birth certificate was considered “invalid.”