Wow, I’m honestly surprised that they would let me take a crack at another one of these newspaper articles after the last one that I did (I thought that all of the puns would have driven any normal person to madness). If you would like to know what the heck I am saying, please refer to the dramatic tale of “To ‘Bee’ or not To ‘Bee’,” if you have the courage to read my nightmare of a report. Nonetheless, today I once again must humbly beseech you for a moment of your time to hear about the sad story of the long-necked freak of nature known as the giraffe.

You may think that previous remark was unnecessarily brutal (I will even admit that it was; I’m not the nicest person), but have you seen the size of those things? They are virtually giants at 18 feet tall! Maybe stopping for a drink is a pain in the neck for them, but they can still kill a lion with a single kick! Who would mess with the mighty giraffe of the vast African savannahs, anyways? Well, there is an answer, and it shouldn’t come as a shock to you, if you’re a pessimist like me: humans.

Of course, there are more natural factors such as population growth and expansion which are limiting the living space for our colossal companion, yet one of the more upsetting causes is the illegal poaching of giraffes for their luxurious hides and succulent meats, according to the African Wildlife Foundation (http://www.awf.org/wildlife-conservation/giraffe).

While I will not deny the fact that I like some tasty meaty treats every so often, slaughtering giraffes for quick profit seems to be just a bit more questionable, if you ask me. Probably, it may not appear to be so important to aid the seemingly invincible giraffe because their significance is not as relevant to humankind in comparison to something like…I don’t know…BEES!? Nevertheless, giraffes constitute a vital role in the ecosystems of the Sub-Saharan savannah, protecting other animals like zebra and antelopes by spotting predators with the help of their keen eyesight and their gigantic necks. Even though the giraffe may not be paramount to our survival, it matters more to the wider world.

Therefore, increasing the awareness of the situation is always a good place to start; the more the people know, the more that they are likely to care. Consider the events of this past weekend: April the giraffe gives birth to a calf in front of an audience of over one million. Although many people waited with baited breath for this event as she paced back and forth on camera, the event itself was necessary in bringing attention to the places that rescue endangered species like April, and protect them in captivity.

It’s actually much easier than you think, as you are able to show your support for the local Earth Day festival hosted by the legendary legend of an Environmental Science teacher, Dr. Borowski. At this particular event, a variety of movies are selected by students based on current crises in the greater globe, including the likes of climate change, pollution, and, of course, endangered species. According to the words of the bodacious Dr. Borowski that “collective action is better than individual action,” it would be in the best interest of everyone to unite for such a noble and righteous cause as the giraffe, as even the best of us – like the giraffe – can always use some help.

At the end of the day, there is only so much that any single individual can do. However, just as how every inch (or centimeter, if you prefer metric system) of the height of a giraffe makes it a master of the African plains, every bit of effort makes that much more of a difference. This is where the article comes to a close, so I would like to manifest my bona-fide thankfulness for your attention. And remember: whatever you decide is fine by me…unless it does not involve saving giraffes, because I will ride a giraffe to your house and let it eat all of your leaves (and then you’ll have to suffer through an article about the environmental pitfalls of a yard with no leaves) until you understand the glory of the giraffe.